Throne of Glass - Deconstruction - Ch32-33

[rainwaterspark]

Chapter 32

Back to Celeaena and Nehemia. We have another awkward insertion of omniscient POV to tell us how quickly Nehemia is picking up Adarlanese.

Nehemia senses that Celaena is stressed and says they’re friends. Celaena is nearly moved to tears.

An inky black crept into the corner of her memory

Hello again, purple prose.

“There are parts of me that I…” She heard it then, the sound that haunted her dreams. Hooves pounding, thunderous hooves.

? This sounds like something a guilty or traumatized person would say, not Celaena Freaking Sardothien. And what the heck do galloping horses have to do with anything?

We learn that Nehemia is somewhat suspicious of Celaena, mentioning the fact that there are always guards around her, but instead of being a normal person with normal curiosity, Nehemia doesn’t pursue that line of inquiry. Nehemia talks about how she’s trying to improve her relations with Georgina.

They make their way to the kennels—seriously? Is that why Dorian keeps talking about his freaking dogs? WHY IS THIS RELEVANT TO ANYTHING???

Obviously, Dorian is there.

“Why, hello, Lady Lillian,” he purred.

I haven’t commented on this so far, but this book also suffers from Anything-But-“Said” Syndrome: novice writers tend to avoid using the word “said” in dialogue, for reasons that continue to mystify me. The author loves to describe characters as “purring,” which makes me want to slap them in the face.

Anyhow, Dorian is planning on killing one of the puppies, but Celaena likes it so he promises not to kill it. Celaena blushes and geez, this is really getting old.

Nehemia thinks Celaena has “a connection” with Dorian and ugh, kill me now.

I’ll admit I judged him wrong; I thought him to be a pompous, selfish idiot, but he’s not so bad.”

Nah, he’s still a pompous, selfish idiot.

They keep talking and Celaena FULL OF RAGE Sardothien is suddenly FULL OF RAGE. Again.

“I would sooner cut out my own heart than love a Havilliard,” she snarled.

Oh? What about, I don’t know, ALL THOSE TIMES YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO KISS HIM, CELAENA???!!!

I mean, the inconsistency in this book is honestly baffling. I have no idea what the reader is supposed to think, unless the author thinks the reader has such a short term memory that they’re not going to remember what the characters said before.

The book continues to hate common sense, so Nehemia doesn’t comment on this SUDDEN DISPLAY OF RAGE from her BFF.

Celaena stops to look at a window and think about ways she can escape and—out of nowhere, Cain! How convenient!!1! He looks like he’s choking, and Celaena starts mocking him. Then he runs away, and Celaena has enough sense to warn some people not to venture from their rooms that night, but she doesn’t actually wonder what the freak is up with him.

Like I said, this book hates common sense.

Chapter 33

This time, more Kaltain POV.

She’d apparently been smoking opium, so she gulps down “sugar water” to hide her breath, I suppose. Not sure that would actually work, and it sounds like a horrible waste of a valuable commodity (seriously, author, how hard is it to understand that sugar used to be expensive?), but whatever.

I’m really uncomfortable with the way Kaltain’s health has been inexplicably fading. Yeah, headaches are bad, but you can just say she has migraines—which are painful, but not lethal. If she conveniently “dies” so that she stops “getting in the way” of Dorian and Celaena’s (godawful) romance, and her death is “karmic” because she’s the Jealous Pretty Girl, I might just have to smash something.

She must do something, something to stop this. The girl moved fast—too fast for her maneuvering. Lillian had snared the Crown Prince in her net, and now Kaltain must cut him free.

BOOK DO YOU WANT ME TO FIND A PHYSICAL COPY OF YOU JUST SO I CAN BURN YOU AND STOMP ON YOUR ASHES???!!!

She must do what was necessary to save the crown—and her future.

IT’S NOT EVIL TO WANT TO HAVE A GOOD FUTURE IN A PATRIARCHAL SEXIST SOCIETY!!

Anyway, a switch to Celaena’s POV. Nehemia shows up and talks about how a bunch of Eyllwe rebels have been massacred, “even the children.”

…

I’m calling For the Evululz.

Yes, there are situations when massacres happen; when it’s not happening during a war, it could happen because of extreme racial/religious prejudice. But we’ve been given very little context; hell, we haven’t even been given any indication that racism exists in this world, because despite the misogynistic slurs that have been thrown around, we haven’t been given any racial slurs. Plus, “even the children”? That’s such a For the Evululz thing to do I can’t even dredge up any outrage.