2023-04-06

rainwaterspark: Moon Knight from Moon Knight (2021) title page, drawn by Alessandro Cappuccio (Default)
2023-04-06 03:44 pm

Confessions from the submission trenches, part 2

I'm on week 10 of being on submission, and the last update I heard was from a month ago. I've reached the stage of being on submission at which I'm beginning to think my book no longer exists.

Kind of like how if a tree falls in a forest and no one hears it, did it really fall? Except if you write a book, but no one buys it--or even has anything to say about it--does it actually exist?

Failures in traditional publishing have really messed with my ability to write anything new. Any time I start, my brain can't help but think "this is a stupid idea" "these characters are two-dimensional" "traditional publishers won't want this, so what's the point". Like I could force myself to write a novella/murder mystery/sequel, but all I can think is...what's the point? I clearly don't know what traditional publishers want.

I think my anxiety over submission has dulled, but at the same time, the physical symptoms are still there--trouble sleeping, tinnitus, fatigue and inability to focus.

Sigh.