rainwaterspark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rainwaterspark) wrote2013-08-29 12:49 pm
rainwaterspark) wrote2013-08-29 12:49 pm
Entry tags:
Art and stuff
I think I've reached a peaceful place in terms of my artistic abilities, where I can push myself without feeling pressure. Since I have no plans to pursue art in any sort of professional capacity, what's left is only love of the craft. I can admire other artists' work without feeling jealous. I realize that there are certain things I won't be able to draw, certain artistic heights that I won't be able to reach, but that's fine, because I like what I do now.
I used to exhibit classic Artist's Jealousy Syndrome. I would constantly look at artists who were better than me, try to measure up to them, fail, and feel depressed. I don't feel the need to do that anymore. I realize that while there are things I can't do, I'm also capable of accomplishing more than I thought possible when I push myself.
The evolution of my style has been a pretty strange journey. I started out mostly influenced by anime/manga, then started moving away from it and trying (without too much success) to develop a semi-realistic, semi-cartoon style. I burned out hard and stopped drawing for a while, except private doodles in my notebook. Then I started turning to realism with photo references, and while that was exciting for a while, I burned out with that as well. And now? Now I'm happily drawing turtles all the time. I'm okay with not really drawing people anymore; I don't think I have the skill to accurately represent the full diversity of human body types, skin tones, and facial structures, and that's fine with me. I still do people occasionally (mostly just for the sake of filling out the turtleverse), but I feel so much freer to pursue interesting styles and experiment with different digital media.
Again, that's not to say I'm not artistically ambitious. I plan on drawing what looks like it's going to be a 600-700 page webcomic (gah, am I crazy??) and possibly other turtle comics in the future, and as any artist will tell you, webcomics are a heck of a lot of work. But it's all about that sweet spot of ambition without jealousy, an inner peace nurtured by love of the craft that transcends insecurity.
Now, if only I could feel the same way about my writing...
I used to exhibit classic Artist's Jealousy Syndrome. I would constantly look at artists who were better than me, try to measure up to them, fail, and feel depressed. I don't feel the need to do that anymore. I realize that while there are things I can't do, I'm also capable of accomplishing more than I thought possible when I push myself.
The evolution of my style has been a pretty strange journey. I started out mostly influenced by anime/manga, then started moving away from it and trying (without too much success) to develop a semi-realistic, semi-cartoon style. I burned out hard and stopped drawing for a while, except private doodles in my notebook. Then I started turning to realism with photo references, and while that was exciting for a while, I burned out with that as well. And now? Now I'm happily drawing turtles all the time. I'm okay with not really drawing people anymore; I don't think I have the skill to accurately represent the full diversity of human body types, skin tones, and facial structures, and that's fine with me. I still do people occasionally (mostly just for the sake of filling out the turtleverse), but I feel so much freer to pursue interesting styles and experiment with different digital media.
Again, that's not to say I'm not artistically ambitious. I plan on drawing what looks like it's going to be a 600-700 page webcomic (gah, am I crazy??) and possibly other turtle comics in the future, and as any artist will tell you, webcomics are a heck of a lot of work. But it's all about that sweet spot of ambition without jealousy, an inner peace nurtured by love of the craft that transcends insecurity.
Now, if only I could feel the same way about my writing...