rainwaterspark (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
rainwaterspark) wrote2016-07-19 08:34 pm
rainwaterspark) wrote2016-07-19 08:34 pm
Entry tags:
Acephobia, pt. 2
Part 1
One thing is that a lot of Tumblr people say "the specter of cis heteroromantic aces is a bogeyman, since, according to an AVEN survey, hetero aces make up less than 1/4 of the ace community, and there are barely any hetero aces on Tumblr! [same goes for aromantic heterosexuals, although there are no numbers for aros]"
So, I mean...I don't want to center the ace community on hetero aces (although I've kind of been forced to by the acephobia), but...I sort of wonder about this claim.
That hetero aces could be a minority of aces, I think is reasonable, but I *do* think that the lack of presence of hetero aces and aro hets on Tumblr isn't necessarily indicative of real numbers.
The thing is, hetero aces and aro hets are most likely to face erasure and not know of their sexual orientations. For one, those hetero aces and aro hets who genuinely don't feel like they experience discrimination...aren't identifying as ace/aro, they're identifying as straight. For another, asexuality, despite what some Tumblr people might think, is still not well known among the straight population at large; therefore, the average person out there is most likely to think, "Hey, I [a person with a binary gender] experience romantic OR sexual attraction to the gender opposite mine, therefore I must be straight!" As for their missing romantic or sexual attraction, they'll probably assume "Oh, I'm just a late bloomer" or "I just need to find the right person."
(I'm speaking from personal experience here, as a person who was 100% certain I was straight before realizing I was actually heteroromantic ace. [Although now I'm not even sure I'm heteroromantic ace and think I might be hetero-aro-spec, if that's possible.])
Plus, there are other, more general factors that impede realization that someone could be asexual: for example, gender stereotypes (women are expected to be sexually passive; a man may not want to admit to himself or others that he doesn't experience sexual attraction due to the hypersexual masculine "ideal"). Also, it's extraordinarily difficult to identify a lack of something. An asexual who likes sex, or at least is neutral towards sex, for instance, may not realize they don't actually experience sexual attraction. Same with an aromantic.
I suspect the population of hetero aces (not sure about aro hets) is larger than has been counted, because a few times when I've seen "Asexual Men 101" posts on the internet, I've seen a bunch of comments from men who talk about how they've always wondered why they've never felt sexual attraction or the urge to do something sexual with a woman. They're most likely not on Tumblr, and I'm guessing they're not even aware of AVEN.
As for the lack of hetero aces on Tumblr...well, with the acephobic culture on Tumblr being what it is currently, what hetero ace would be confident enough to be out? (I certainly am not.)
One thing is that a lot of Tumblr people say "the specter of cis heteroromantic aces is a bogeyman, since, according to an AVEN survey, hetero aces make up less than 1/4 of the ace community, and there are barely any hetero aces on Tumblr! [same goes for aromantic heterosexuals, although there are no numbers for aros]"
So, I mean...I don't want to center the ace community on hetero aces (although I've kind of been forced to by the acephobia), but...I sort of wonder about this claim.
That hetero aces could be a minority of aces, I think is reasonable, but I *do* think that the lack of presence of hetero aces and aro hets on Tumblr isn't necessarily indicative of real numbers.
The thing is, hetero aces and aro hets are most likely to face erasure and not know of their sexual orientations. For one, those hetero aces and aro hets who genuinely don't feel like they experience discrimination...aren't identifying as ace/aro, they're identifying as straight. For another, asexuality, despite what some Tumblr people might think, is still not well known among the straight population at large; therefore, the average person out there is most likely to think, "Hey, I [a person with a binary gender] experience romantic OR sexual attraction to the gender opposite mine, therefore I must be straight!" As for their missing romantic or sexual attraction, they'll probably assume "Oh, I'm just a late bloomer" or "I just need to find the right person."
(I'm speaking from personal experience here, as a person who was 100% certain I was straight before realizing I was actually heteroromantic ace. [Although now I'm not even sure I'm heteroromantic ace and think I might be hetero-aro-spec, if that's possible.])
Plus, there are other, more general factors that impede realization that someone could be asexual: for example, gender stereotypes (women are expected to be sexually passive; a man may not want to admit to himself or others that he doesn't experience sexual attraction due to the hypersexual masculine "ideal"). Also, it's extraordinarily difficult to identify a lack of something. An asexual who likes sex, or at least is neutral towards sex, for instance, may not realize they don't actually experience sexual attraction. Same with an aromantic.
I suspect the population of hetero aces (not sure about aro hets) is larger than has been counted, because a few times when I've seen "Asexual Men 101" posts on the internet, I've seen a bunch of comments from men who talk about how they've always wondered why they've never felt sexual attraction or the urge to do something sexual with a woman. They're most likely not on Tumblr, and I'm guessing they're not even aware of AVEN.
As for the lack of hetero aces on Tumblr...well, with the acephobic culture on Tumblr being what it is currently, what hetero ace would be confident enough to be out? (I certainly am not.)