Dragon Essence - Zeiva Inc (Demo)
Sep. 3rd, 2012 09:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainwaterspark- Feudal China setting seems interesting.
- I'm wary of "forbidden love" stories because they always create a lot of cheap angst.
- Tian Zhao = expy of Anon from X-Note?? Both are loud, obnoxious, kind-of-jerks but actually really nice guys who help the colorless (no pun intended :P)/straitlaced heroine relax a little. (A male version of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl?)
- Nitpicky detail: The use of the color blindness test at the beginning threw me off a little...wasn't that a modern invention? [Wikipedia: the test was published in 1917.] Also, color blindness is inherited genetically (at least, the type Chi An has seems to be), and it's often X-linked, meaning that Chi An's dad probably should have been color blind in order for her to be (but her dad is mysteriously absent, anyway).
[Some more information about genetic color blindness (thanks, Wikipedia):
Monochromacy is the complete inability to distinguish color, which Chi An seems to have. It's more common to have dichromacy, in which certain colors are unable to be seen. Under monochromacy, there's rod monochromacy and cone monochromacy. Apparently rod monochromacy is accompanied by other visual problems, such as photophobia and reduced visual acuity...so if that's what Chi An has, she should have a heck of a lot of other problems besides trying to disguise the fact that she can't perceive color.]
- Nitpicky detail: If Tian Zhao never dealt with humans before, how is he able to haggle like a pro in the marketplace? (Do dragons even use money??)
- Predictions: Tian Xi is a half-human, half-dragon and half-brother of Tian Zhao. The reason why Chi An and Tian Zhao can't get together is that their children would end up as halfbreeds...and maybe there's some tragic story of star-crossed love in the past.
- Tian Zhao's introduction made me scratch my head. I get that stealing her purse is a plot contrivance so she can talk about the golden scale later, but isn't it still a douchey thing to do? And if he purposely made the trip to the Capital in order to see her after 10 years, why is it that he doesn't reveal himself to her right away, but has to go on and on about that stealing the purse nonsense?
- Chi An kind of bothers me...she doesn't seem to have any real objective at the beginning, she's pretty much a pushover/doormat, she should either treat Ming Jie more nicely (because they're friends, if nothing else) or actively set out to change her fate, rather than going halfway. She's sort of waiting for her life to change/for Tian Zhao to change her life. So far, I feel that her character, aside from her color blindness, is defined entirely by her relationships to other people (engaged to Ming Jie, friend of Xiao Yan, friends/obsessed with Tian Zhao). Also, considering she's from the farmer class and doesn't have any servants, why is she acting in the Capital as though she has no idea how to buy things? Her mom couldn't have done all the shopping up till then, because her mom is busy farming.
(I've been reading a lot of feminist YA critiques lately, so I've become very, very leery of tropes such as these. Romance is great, and I believe that romance can change people for the better, but stories that perpetuate the idea that girls don't have a life outside of romance are tiring.)
(Also, I should point out that while Essi from X-Note didn't have the flashiest personality either, she at least had a goal of her own (figuring out the whole X-Note mystery) and was even quite proactive in her investigation.)
In sum:
- I'm very lukewarm about Chi An so far, because she seems to be a very flat character.
- I *like* Tian Zhao, but (1) he reminds me too much of Anon, (2) Chi An has a reason to like (or at least obsess over) him but so far he doesn't seem to have too much of a reason to like her except out of curiosity.
- The writing so far is somewhat mediocre...there are too many plot contrivances, and "forbidden" romance is usually a recipe for slush, if YA paranormal/dystopian romance is anything to go by.
- I'm wary of "forbidden love" stories because they always create a lot of cheap angst.
- Tian Zhao = expy of Anon from X-Note?? Both are loud, obnoxious, kind-of-jerks but actually really nice guys who help the colorless (no pun intended :P)/straitlaced heroine relax a little. (A male version of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl?)
- Nitpicky detail: The use of the color blindness test at the beginning threw me off a little...wasn't that a modern invention? [Wikipedia: the test was published in 1917.] Also, color blindness is inherited genetically (at least, the type Chi An has seems to be), and it's often X-linked, meaning that Chi An's dad probably should have been color blind in order for her to be (but her dad is mysteriously absent, anyway).
[Some more information about genetic color blindness (thanks, Wikipedia):
Monochromacy is the complete inability to distinguish color, which Chi An seems to have. It's more common to have dichromacy, in which certain colors are unable to be seen. Under monochromacy, there's rod monochromacy and cone monochromacy. Apparently rod monochromacy is accompanied by other visual problems, such as photophobia and reduced visual acuity...so if that's what Chi An has, she should have a heck of a lot of other problems besides trying to disguise the fact that she can't perceive color.]
- Nitpicky detail: If Tian Zhao never dealt with humans before, how is he able to haggle like a pro in the marketplace? (Do dragons even use money??)
- Predictions: Tian Xi is a half-human, half-dragon and half-brother of Tian Zhao. The reason why Chi An and Tian Zhao can't get together is that their children would end up as halfbreeds...and maybe there's some tragic story of star-crossed love in the past.
- Tian Zhao's introduction made me scratch my head. I get that stealing her purse is a plot contrivance so she can talk about the golden scale later, but isn't it still a douchey thing to do? And if he purposely made the trip to the Capital in order to see her after 10 years, why is it that he doesn't reveal himself to her right away, but has to go on and on about that stealing the purse nonsense?
- Chi An kind of bothers me...she doesn't seem to have any real objective at the beginning, she's pretty much a pushover/doormat, she should either treat Ming Jie more nicely (because they're friends, if nothing else) or actively set out to change her fate, rather than going halfway. She's sort of waiting for her life to change/for Tian Zhao to change her life. So far, I feel that her character, aside from her color blindness, is defined entirely by her relationships to other people (engaged to Ming Jie, friend of Xiao Yan, friends/obsessed with Tian Zhao). Also, considering she's from the farmer class and doesn't have any servants, why is she acting in the Capital as though she has no idea how to buy things? Her mom couldn't have done all the shopping up till then, because her mom is busy farming.
(I've been reading a lot of feminist YA critiques lately, so I've become very, very leery of tropes such as these. Romance is great, and I believe that romance can change people for the better, but stories that perpetuate the idea that girls don't have a life outside of romance are tiring.)
(Also, I should point out that while Essi from X-Note didn't have the flashiest personality either, she at least had a goal of her own (figuring out the whole X-Note mystery) and was even quite proactive in her investigation.)
In sum:
- I'm very lukewarm about Chi An so far, because she seems to be a very flat character.
- I *like* Tian Zhao, but (1) he reminds me too much of Anon, (2) Chi An has a reason to like (or at least obsess over) him but so far he doesn't seem to have too much of a reason to like her except out of curiosity.
- The writing so far is somewhat mediocre...there are too many plot contrivances, and "forbidden" romance is usually a recipe for slush, if YA paranormal/dystopian romance is anything to go by.
