Last time, nonsensical decisions and bad romance.
( This time, infodumps and boring filler. )
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I'd like to talk about genre instability for a moment.
What the book wants to be about is something like this: Celaena is drawn into a competition for her life, but while she's busy trying to survive the competition, she's also falling in love and learning about the evil that lurks in the castle that she's destined to destroy.
How it actually feels like to read this book is this: Well, we have our Mary Sue protagonist who has to join this competition. Except who cares about the competition when she's busy wearing pretty dresses and flirting with the guards and chatting with Nehemia while mocking all of the other courtiers. Oh, and Dorian is falling for her but Chaol is also falling for her, GASP LOVE TRIANGLE ROMANTIC DRAMA. Some murder mystery is going on but nobody is actually solving it. Oh wait, Celaena's "destined" to be in this competition because there's some evil whatever that lives in the castle fate prophecy Chosen One save the world!!!
In other words, all these elements are thrown together almost at random, popping up at random moments in the novel. It's as if the author were thinking: "Hey, I need to get Celaena into the castle so she can have all this romantic drama with the prince, so I'm going to say there's a competition in the castle! Except this competition is really boring, let me go write about pretty dresses and romantic drama instead! Oh wait, this is getting a bit too plotless, I think I need some other drama. How about a murder mystery? Okay, okay. What do fantasy stories usually have? Prophecies and Chosen Ones and saving the world. Okay, let me add that too! Now it's perfect!"
The book doesn't know what it wants to be about. And let me make clear before I go further that I am fine with complex, multilayered plots that weave a lot of strands together. That's the key word, though: weave. You can't just randomly add cliché plot devices all over the place and hope it forms a coherent plot, because it doesn't.
Is the focus of the book supposed to be on the competition, only it's linked to something much larger, like the return of magic in a world where magic has been eliminated? Then pare down the infodumping and dream sequences and "Chosen One" rhetoric and give the murder mystery more spotlight, highlighting the fact that the competitors are being specifically targeted, adding a tangible layer of tension to the competition itself. Only gradually reveal that it seems to be related to something much larger.
Is the focus of the book supposed to be on the return of the supernatural element, with the competition only as window-dressing? Then make the competition more bland, introduce the Wyrdmarks and stuff earlier, and make a bigger deal out of the prophecy/Chosen One/generic fantasy elements early on. The murder mystery should either not be a murder mystery but a supernatural occurrences mystery, or its supernatural/otherworldly aspect should be much more heavily emphasized.
Is the focus of the book supposed to be on the romance and the "political intrigue"? Well, I can't help you there because the romance is terrible and the "political intrigue" nonexistent.
( This time, infodumps and boring filler. )
.
I'd like to talk about genre instability for a moment.
What the book wants to be about is something like this: Celaena is drawn into a competition for her life, but while she's busy trying to survive the competition, she's also falling in love and learning about the evil that lurks in the castle that she's destined to destroy.
How it actually feels like to read this book is this: Well, we have our Mary Sue protagonist who has to join this competition. Except who cares about the competition when she's busy wearing pretty dresses and flirting with the guards and chatting with Nehemia while mocking all of the other courtiers. Oh, and Dorian is falling for her but Chaol is also falling for her, GASP LOVE TRIANGLE ROMANTIC DRAMA. Some murder mystery is going on but nobody is actually solving it. Oh wait, Celaena's "destined" to be in this competition because there's some evil whatever that lives in the castle fate prophecy Chosen One save the world!!!
In other words, all these elements are thrown together almost at random, popping up at random moments in the novel. It's as if the author were thinking: "Hey, I need to get Celaena into the castle so she can have all this romantic drama with the prince, so I'm going to say there's a competition in the castle! Except this competition is really boring, let me go write about pretty dresses and romantic drama instead! Oh wait, this is getting a bit too plotless, I think I need some other drama. How about a murder mystery? Okay, okay. What do fantasy stories usually have? Prophecies and Chosen Ones and saving the world. Okay, let me add that too! Now it's perfect!"
The book doesn't know what it wants to be about. And let me make clear before I go further that I am fine with complex, multilayered plots that weave a lot of strands together. That's the key word, though: weave. You can't just randomly add cliché plot devices all over the place and hope it forms a coherent plot, because it doesn't.
Is the focus of the book supposed to be on the competition, only it's linked to something much larger, like the return of magic in a world where magic has been eliminated? Then pare down the infodumping and dream sequences and "Chosen One" rhetoric and give the murder mystery more spotlight, highlighting the fact that the competitors are being specifically targeted, adding a tangible layer of tension to the competition itself. Only gradually reveal that it seems to be related to something much larger.
Is the focus of the book supposed to be on the return of the supernatural element, with the competition only as window-dressing? Then make the competition more bland, introduce the Wyrdmarks and stuff earlier, and make a bigger deal out of the prophecy/Chosen One/generic fantasy elements early on. The murder mystery should either not be a murder mystery but a supernatural occurrences mystery, or its supernatural/otherworldly aspect should be much more heavily emphasized.
Is the focus of the book supposed to be on the romance and the "political intrigue"? Well, I can't help you there because the romance is terrible and the "political intrigue" nonexistent.