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On blogging
Jan. 20th, 2015 10:56 pmI've seen the attitude, many times, that people have a hard time keeping a journal/blog, or they censor themself on their blog, because they don't want to write angry, emo rants and then look back and feel embarrassed by what they'd written.
I think about it a different way.
Granted, I started blogging intensively during college, when I often felt emotionally stifled and had no close friends for a very long time, so blogging became my only way to vent my feelings—otherwise, I constantly felt like a volcano that needed to explode, but couldn't. (I also have this weird thing where if complete strangers are reading my private thoughts, I don't care.)
But for me, blogging is a reminder that what I went through, what I felt, was real.
I grew up with the constant habit of downplaying and suppressing my emotions, becoming used to thinking they either weren't a big deal or that I wasn't entitled to them. For example: (previously) "I'm not depressed, I'm just having a bad day." "I don't have anxiety problems, I'm just being unreasonably lazy." "I don't have valid emotional problems, because there are people in the world who are much worse off than I am." "I can't be angry at this person, because my expectations for them were just unrealistic and it's my own fault for being too sensitive. How dare I expect that they respond to my emails in a timely manner or remember to keep an appointment we made." "I can't be angry at this other person for hurting my feelings because they were just acting in my best interests."
(...Now that I've written that, it sounds like pretty painful victim-blaming...)
So for me, when I blog and capture what I feel at a particular moment, it's validation. I can go back and read that entry and think to myself: "What I experienced was real and valid and it's okay." And for me, well, that's incredibly powerful.
I do get the tendency not to want to display your emotions on a public blog, but I also think...heck, this is my personal blog, I created it to make me happy, and if I can't feel comfortable posting what I want then it defeats the purpose of my having a blog in the first place.
I think about it a different way.
Granted, I started blogging intensively during college, when I often felt emotionally stifled and had no close friends for a very long time, so blogging became my only way to vent my feelings—otherwise, I constantly felt like a volcano that needed to explode, but couldn't. (I also have this weird thing where if complete strangers are reading my private thoughts, I don't care.)
But for me, blogging is a reminder that what I went through, what I felt, was real.
I grew up with the constant habit of downplaying and suppressing my emotions, becoming used to thinking they either weren't a big deal or that I wasn't entitled to them. For example: (previously) "I'm not depressed, I'm just having a bad day." "I don't have anxiety problems, I'm just being unreasonably lazy." "I don't have valid emotional problems, because there are people in the world who are much worse off than I am." "I can't be angry at this person, because my expectations for them were just unrealistic and it's my own fault for being too sensitive. How dare I expect that they respond to my emails in a timely manner or remember to keep an appointment we made." "I can't be angry at this other person for hurting my feelings because they were just acting in my best interests."
(...Now that I've written that, it sounds like pretty painful victim-blaming...)
So for me, when I blog and capture what I feel at a particular moment, it's validation. I can go back and read that entry and think to myself: "What I experienced was real and valid and it's okay." And for me, well, that's incredibly powerful.
I do get the tendency not to want to display your emotions on a public blog, but I also think...heck, this is my personal blog, I created it to make me happy, and if I can't feel comfortable posting what I want then it defeats the purpose of my having a blog in the first place.
