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*sigh*
I'm not usually in this position, but I feel semi-obligated to read romance books with asexual leads on the off-chance that I'll find the kind of representation I want.
The thing is, if I'm reading an asexual romance, I want to see romantic relationships where sex is not only not important, but it's not even considered normative. To date, I've only read one book that does this (All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher)—even most books that try to show an asexual character can have a relationship with a non-asexual character without sex somehow still center the importance of sex in the narrative. I have complicated feelings about books where the asexual character is happy and willing to have sex—like, yeah, obviously those people exist in real life, yet if a book conveys a message that "most" asexual people are like this, or "if you're asexual and really love your partner, you'll be willing to have sex with them," I get hurt.
Sometimes quite badly.
So for the book I'm thinking about reading (not naming it now...if I want to write a review after I finish it, I'll name it then), I already know from Goodreads reviews that the asexual character has sex with her partner, so I'm reeeeeally iffy as to whether I'll enjoy it or not.
And yet the author has said she wrote this book to show asexual people can be in relationships with non-asexual people and sex doesn't have to be necessary, so...argh. I feel like I have to at least try it out.
(I've also heard some GR reviews complain that the two leads have little chemistry, and though obviously chemistry can be subjective...there's nothing as torturous to me as much as reading a romance where I feel like the romantic leads have no chemistry.)
I'm not usually in this position, but I feel semi-obligated to read romance books with asexual leads on the off-chance that I'll find the kind of representation I want.
The thing is, if I'm reading an asexual romance, I want to see romantic relationships where sex is not only not important, but it's not even considered normative. To date, I've only read one book that does this (All the Wrong Places by Ann Gallagher)—even most books that try to show an asexual character can have a relationship with a non-asexual character without sex somehow still center the importance of sex in the narrative. I have complicated feelings about books where the asexual character is happy and willing to have sex—like, yeah, obviously those people exist in real life, yet if a book conveys a message that "most" asexual people are like this, or "if you're asexual and really love your partner, you'll be willing to have sex with them," I get hurt.
Sometimes quite badly.
So for the book I'm thinking about reading (not naming it now...if I want to write a review after I finish it, I'll name it then), I already know from Goodreads reviews that the asexual character has sex with her partner, so I'm reeeeeally iffy as to whether I'll enjoy it or not.
And yet the author has said she wrote this book to show asexual people can be in relationships with non-asexual people and sex doesn't have to be necessary, so...argh. I feel like I have to at least try it out.
(I've also heard some GR reviews complain that the two leads have little chemistry, and though obviously chemistry can be subjective...there's nothing as torturous to me as much as reading a romance where I feel like the romantic leads have no chemistry.)
