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Hard Wired by Megan Erickson & Santino Hassell
So...this book. I wanted to like it, because it was all about internet/fan culture, which is 100% my jam, and it was well-written, but there were some things about it that just bothered the heck out of me.
First: This is a minor thing, but it bugged me a lot. Jesse makes a throwaway comment near the beginning about how he thought he was straight, but always had problems in his relationships with girls, so then he thought he was ace or demisexual, but then realized he was gay. Other aces might disagree with me, but I really don't like it when asexuality is brought up this way in a book. Is it realistic? Sure. Are there people who think they're ace before realizing they're not? Yes. However, (1) asexuality is not well-known, and it's also still pretty stigmatized, so the chances of someone thinking they're ace before realizing they're actually gay are usually pretty low; (2) there is a lot of virulent acephobia right now within certain circles of the LGBT community premised upon the false idea that asexuals "coerce" vulnerable gay teens into identifying as ace, and books like Hard Wired are not helping that at all.
Perhaps most importantly, (3) To me, bringing up asexuality that way feels like dangling the possibility of asexual representation in my face and then quickly snatching it away. I know that's probably not what the authors intended, that they probably had a benevolent desire to normalize asexuality by bringing it up as a possibility. But given how little asexual representation there currently is, that's what it feels like to me. And I don't appreciate it.
Second: It's not clear to me what Ian's situation is, regarding neurodivergence/mental illness. My best guess is that he might be mentally ill with anxiety and/or PTSD; however, we never see his symptoms on-page (except for some vaguely PTSD-like avoidance), we only hear about him mentioning breakdowns off-page, and he never seeks treatment of any kind, with no explanation for that, even though Jesse gets concerned enough to think at one point that Ian should get therapy, before that idea is never brought up again. I wouldn't be as bothered about that if not for the fact that Ian claims to be neurodivergent, at which point it bothered me: you can't claim a character is neurodivergent for *diversity points* but both never show him as being clearly neurodivergent and also never showing him getting treatment. In fact, the whole argument over the Ian/Cerise/Cherry thing seemed to imply in the book that Ian was perfectly capable of dealing with his trauma on his own—which is, generally, not a good thing to imply, even if that may be the case for some people, because seeking help for mental illnesses is already so stigmatized in our society, and there are plenty of people who think they can "deal with" their problems on their own only to have major breakdowns.
Third: It felt to me that one of the themes in the book was about adding diversity using fandom/online spaces. Which is great! I am 100% for that! ...However, it's a little awkward for that to be the message in a book about two cis white gay guys. If we're talking about underrepresentation, cis white gay guys are the most represented/well-represented. There are also plenty of issues in fandom/online spaces with racism and misogyny, as well as issues with race in LGBTQ+ communities. For example, if Ian had made that speech as a queer disabled man of color, it would've felt much more meaningful and resonant. As it was, the effectiveness and sincerity of the message was a bit undercut.
Lastly, this is a personal gripe, but I sort of felt like Ian and Jesse sometimes used sex as a way to avoid addressing their relationship problems, and it drove me up the wall.
In the Company of Shadows by Santino Hassell & Ais
(This book is available for free on the internet, by the way. Link to come when I stop being lazy.)
I'll admit that I read about halfway through part 1 of book 1, because the books are hideously long, but I Have Thoughts, so.
First off, I was intrigued by the high ratings on Goodreads, but I actually found the writing to be pretty mediocre. Boyd's dialogue felt overly formal, and there were no narrative/contextual cues as for why he spoke that way. The action scenes were overly-descriptive and lacked urgency. In general, there were often a lot of long paragraphs without much variation, which sometimes made reading feel monotonous.
There's also Hsin Liu Vega, a.k.a. the Chinese guy with green eyes who somehow does not look Chinese at all, despite the fact that apparently his mother was 100% Han Chinese. I mean, yeah, it happens in real life, but Asian representation is so slim in fiction that a multiracial Asian guy who doesn't look Asian at all irritates me. Also, ICoS is set in the future, and Sin says his mom is from mainland China, so if she named him, his name should be Xin Liu ("Hsin" is from the Wade-Giles romanization system, which even today has been largely phased out except sometimes in Taiwan). Not to mention, is "Hsin Liu" his full first name? Or is "Liu" supposed to be his last name? Is his last name "Vega" or "Liu Vega"? Details, people. Screwing up basic details is a surefire way to keep Chinese American readers (like me) distracted during your story.
The part that bugged me most was how inconsistently Boyd's depression was treated. At first, he was introduced as suicidally depressed...yet although Boyd experienced suicidal ideation, he never seemed to have made an attempt, and I wanted an explanation as to why. Also, Boyd refers to himself as having no emotion, except early on he gets angry when some other recruits/agents/whatever don't treat him well, so...?? (I'm not saying he shouldn't have reacted in that situation, but to me, it would've felt more realistic for him to react with even more depressed/critical thoughts about himself, not with anger.) He also gets annoyed and angry at Sin plenty of times. Also, for a "suicidally depressed to the point of not having emotions anymore" person, he sure seems motivated to excel at his grueling physical training at the Agency. Spoiler alert: That's not how lacking in emotions works.
Basically, he barely reads as "depressed" or "depressed to the point of lacking emotion." Instead, he reads more as just "reserved" or "stoic." And that is 100% NOT depression. Which is a HUGE problem when supposedly the entire point of why his partnership with Sin works is that he "lacks emotions" so Sin can't rile him up properly. (Well, one of the points. My impression was that that was supposed to be the premise of the book, except it reads a lot more like "the partnership works because Boyd treats Sin with human decency.")
I thought the premise of the book was going to be about exploring "humanity" with the character of Sin, who is painted as a psychopathic monster, except...that premise fell pretty flat. Boyd wonders to himself at some point why the Agency perpetuates that image when Sin is really just an unstable guy with a history of abuse who, due to his lethal training, tends to have violent psychotic breaks when triggered, and I wonder that too. Like, it's a pretty huge leap considering that Sin more or less looks and talks like a neurotypical human being (he says he has "no social skills" due to his weird/isolated upbringing, but he didn't read that way at all to this autistic reader). Even with the stigma against mental illness/association with certain mental illnesses and violence in our current society, people still generally don't consider schizophrenic/bipolar people as...monsters? The word "monster" is a loaded term with particular connotations (I can't believe I have to say that out loud) and it just...didn't seem to work to describe Sin in this situation. It would've been more believable to me if people just thought he was "crazy"/volatile/unpredictable, not a "monster." (It sort of reminds me of Shuos Jedao in Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee, who kind of had a similar-ish backstory to Sin, except Jedao was only considered "insane," not a "monster.")
I'm really not sure why this online book series is rated as highly as it is on Goodreads when the representation of depression was so inaccurate and almost romanticized (given that Boyd's depression was supposed to be the "reason" he can work with Sin).
So...this book. I wanted to like it, because it was all about internet/fan culture, which is 100% my jam, and it was well-written, but there were some things about it that just bothered the heck out of me.
First: This is a minor thing, but it bugged me a lot. Jesse makes a throwaway comment near the beginning about how he thought he was straight, but always had problems in his relationships with girls, so then he thought he was ace or demisexual, but then realized he was gay. Other aces might disagree with me, but I really don't like it when asexuality is brought up this way in a book. Is it realistic? Sure. Are there people who think they're ace before realizing they're not? Yes. However, (1) asexuality is not well-known, and it's also still pretty stigmatized, so the chances of someone thinking they're ace before realizing they're actually gay are usually pretty low; (2) there is a lot of virulent acephobia right now within certain circles of the LGBT community premised upon the false idea that asexuals "coerce" vulnerable gay teens into identifying as ace, and books like Hard Wired are not helping that at all.
Perhaps most importantly, (3) To me, bringing up asexuality that way feels like dangling the possibility of asexual representation in my face and then quickly snatching it away. I know that's probably not what the authors intended, that they probably had a benevolent desire to normalize asexuality by bringing it up as a possibility. But given how little asexual representation there currently is, that's what it feels like to me. And I don't appreciate it.
Second: It's not clear to me what Ian's situation is, regarding neurodivergence/mental illness. My best guess is that he might be mentally ill with anxiety and/or PTSD; however, we never see his symptoms on-page (except for some vaguely PTSD-like avoidance), we only hear about him mentioning breakdowns off-page, and he never seeks treatment of any kind, with no explanation for that, even though Jesse gets concerned enough to think at one point that Ian should get therapy, before that idea is never brought up again. I wouldn't be as bothered about that if not for the fact that Ian claims to be neurodivergent, at which point it bothered me: you can't claim a character is neurodivergent for *diversity points* but both never show him as being clearly neurodivergent and also never showing him getting treatment. In fact, the whole argument over the Ian/Cerise/Cherry thing seemed to imply in the book that Ian was perfectly capable of dealing with his trauma on his own—which is, generally, not a good thing to imply, even if that may be the case for some people, because seeking help for mental illnesses is already so stigmatized in our society, and there are plenty of people who think they can "deal with" their problems on their own only to have major breakdowns.
Third: It felt to me that one of the themes in the book was about adding diversity using fandom/online spaces. Which is great! I am 100% for that! ...However, it's a little awkward for that to be the message in a book about two cis white gay guys. If we're talking about underrepresentation, cis white gay guys are the most represented/well-represented. There are also plenty of issues in fandom/online spaces with racism and misogyny, as well as issues with race in LGBTQ+ communities. For example, if Ian had made that speech as a queer disabled man of color, it would've felt much more meaningful and resonant. As it was, the effectiveness and sincerity of the message was a bit undercut.
Lastly, this is a personal gripe, but I sort of felt like Ian and Jesse sometimes used sex as a way to avoid addressing their relationship problems, and it drove me up the wall.
In the Company of Shadows by Santino Hassell & Ais
(This book is available for free on the internet, by the way. Link to come when I stop being lazy.)
I'll admit that I read about halfway through part 1 of book 1, because the books are hideously long, but I Have Thoughts, so.
First off, I was intrigued by the high ratings on Goodreads, but I actually found the writing to be pretty mediocre. Boyd's dialogue felt overly formal, and there were no narrative/contextual cues as for why he spoke that way. The action scenes were overly-descriptive and lacked urgency. In general, there were often a lot of long paragraphs without much variation, which sometimes made reading feel monotonous.
There's also Hsin Liu Vega, a.k.a. the Chinese guy with green eyes who somehow does not look Chinese at all, despite the fact that apparently his mother was 100% Han Chinese. I mean, yeah, it happens in real life, but Asian representation is so slim in fiction that a multiracial Asian guy who doesn't look Asian at all irritates me. Also, ICoS is set in the future, and Sin says his mom is from mainland China, so if she named him, his name should be Xin Liu ("Hsin" is from the Wade-Giles romanization system, which even today has been largely phased out except sometimes in Taiwan). Not to mention, is "Hsin Liu" his full first name? Or is "Liu" supposed to be his last name? Is his last name "Vega" or "Liu Vega"? Details, people. Screwing up basic details is a surefire way to keep Chinese American readers (like me) distracted during your story.
The part that bugged me most was how inconsistently Boyd's depression was treated. At first, he was introduced as suicidally depressed...yet although Boyd experienced suicidal ideation, he never seemed to have made an attempt, and I wanted an explanation as to why. Also, Boyd refers to himself as having no emotion, except early on he gets angry when some other recruits/agents/whatever don't treat him well, so...?? (I'm not saying he shouldn't have reacted in that situation, but to me, it would've felt more realistic for him to react with even more depressed/critical thoughts about himself, not with anger.) He also gets annoyed and angry at Sin plenty of times. Also, for a "suicidally depressed to the point of not having emotions anymore" person, he sure seems motivated to excel at his grueling physical training at the Agency. Spoiler alert: That's not how lacking in emotions works.
Basically, he barely reads as "depressed" or "depressed to the point of lacking emotion." Instead, he reads more as just "reserved" or "stoic." And that is 100% NOT depression. Which is a HUGE problem when supposedly the entire point of why his partnership with Sin works is that he "lacks emotions" so Sin can't rile him up properly. (Well, one of the points. My impression was that that was supposed to be the premise of the book, except it reads a lot more like "the partnership works because Boyd treats Sin with human decency.")
I thought the premise of the book was going to be about exploring "humanity" with the character of Sin, who is painted as a psychopathic monster, except...that premise fell pretty flat. Boyd wonders to himself at some point why the Agency perpetuates that image when Sin is really just an unstable guy with a history of abuse who, due to his lethal training, tends to have violent psychotic breaks when triggered, and I wonder that too. Like, it's a pretty huge leap considering that Sin more or less looks and talks like a neurotypical human being (he says he has "no social skills" due to his weird/isolated upbringing, but he didn't read that way at all to this autistic reader). Even with the stigma against mental illness/association with certain mental illnesses and violence in our current society, people still generally don't consider schizophrenic/bipolar people as...monsters? The word "monster" is a loaded term with particular connotations (I can't believe I have to say that out loud) and it just...didn't seem to work to describe Sin in this situation. It would've been more believable to me if people just thought he was "crazy"/volatile/unpredictable, not a "monster." (It sort of reminds me of Shuos Jedao in Ninefox Gambit by Yoon Ha Lee, who kind of had a similar-ish backstory to Sin, except Jedao was only considered "insane," not a "monster.")
I'm really not sure why this online book series is rated as highly as it is on Goodreads when the representation of depression was so inaccurate and almost romanticized (given that Boyd's depression was supposed to be the "reason" he can work with Sin).
