![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I saw a book reviewer make this comment—that he couldn't enjoy a book about an asexual romance (although my understanding was that it was a gray asexual romance) because a sexless romance, to him, felt "immature" and therefore "squicky" because it made him feel like a voyeur into "teenage puppy love."
That comment made me feel sick.
It may seem less blatantly acephobic than a lot of other comments asexuals get, but it's acephobic nonetheless because it's positing asexual romantic attraction as "childish," "not as mature" as "adult" romance which by necessity must involve sex and sexual attraction.
Also, logically, it makes no sense. A lot of YA romances these days involve sexual attraction on some level (though it's often desexualized relative to adult romance/erotica). But even a sexual relationship can be written in an immature way.
The difference—which is something that depresses me to think about—is that people are conditioned to view sexual relationships as "automatically" *mature* and *adult.* So you could write about a sexual relationship between two characters who whine and complain at each other and throw tantrums, OR between two characters who are very mushy and lovey-dovey and serenade each other with their undying love every single day, but it will STILL be considered "adult" as long as they're shown having sex.
That's not only acephobic, it's also incredibly reductive regarding what exactly is "mature" and what is "immature."
And I'm really goddamn sick of it.
That comment made me feel sick.
It may seem less blatantly acephobic than a lot of other comments asexuals get, but it's acephobic nonetheless because it's positing asexual romantic attraction as "childish," "not as mature" as "adult" romance which by necessity must involve sex and sexual attraction.
Also, logically, it makes no sense. A lot of YA romances these days involve sexual attraction on some level (though it's often desexualized relative to adult romance/erotica). But even a sexual relationship can be written in an immature way.
The difference—which is something that depresses me to think about—is that people are conditioned to view sexual relationships as "automatically" *mature* and *adult.* So you could write about a sexual relationship between two characters who whine and complain at each other and throw tantrums, OR between two characters who are very mushy and lovey-dovey and serenade each other with their undying love every single day, but it will STILL be considered "adult" as long as they're shown having sex.
That's not only acephobic, it's also incredibly reductive regarding what exactly is "mature" and what is "immature."
And I'm really goddamn sick of it.
