The Batman (2022) sucked.
Apr. 30th, 2022 10:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainwatersparkI'm no stranger to polarizing superhero movies. I loved Batman v Superman, enjoyed Birds of Prey with some reservations, and thought Eternals was okay, if flawed.
But The Batman sucked. Really sucked. My friends and I were laughing throughout the movie, and not in a good way. I also found myself closing my eyes several times because I was tired and the movie was boring, and I never do that.
I would call this the worst Batman movie I've ever seen. I would definitely rank this below The Dark Knight Rises.
- Worst Batmobile chase scene ever. That scene was visually incomprehensible due to the combination of night and rain, and just felt like watching a bunch of moving headlights without a sense of high-speed driving. Also, the Batmobile basically looks like a vintage car with a rocket on the back, a.k.a. boring.
- Worst Batman introduction ever. Just Batman slowly and NOISILY WALKING toward a group of thugs? No suspense, no fear, so much cringe.
- Terrible cinematography. Director Matt Reeves has some obsession with Go-Pro cameras because that's ALL he uses whenever it comes to a car/motorcycle/gliding scene. And it looks awful, like...bro, you had $200 million dollars for this, a Go-Pro was the best you could do??? Plus, the color scheme for the entire film was basically black with eye-searing red lights. It looked awful.
- WHY DOES BRUCE WAYNE LOOK LIKE A HOBO ALL THE TIME??? I burst out laughing every time I saw him with the raccoon eyes and hobo hair; I could NOT take him seriously at all. Basically, there is no Bruce Wayne in this movie, no playboy billionaire who disguises his vigilante life with a ditzy rich airhead cover.
- No emotions for Bruce's relationships with his family. He barely spoke to Alfred so it was impossible to feel sad when Alfred got blown up. And it was never stated that Bruce was fighting crime in his father's memory until he started thinking his father was a scumbag, so any emotions that should have been there fell completely flat.
- Horrible detective work. This is supposed to be a detective noir film, but Bruce's only skillset is just immediately knowing the answer to all of Riddler's verbal riddles. That's not interesting to watch! And it doesn't make the film seem smart!!
- Zero chemistry between Batman and Catwoman. I cringed at all of their scenes. And why the F was Bruce spying on her in her underwear in the beginning of the movie? Like holy hell, you couldn't modernize noir femme fatale tropes a little???
- Trash-bag Riddler looked terrible. I mean, I thought this even before the movie came out, but seeing it in motion made it even worse. Also, did not like the ableist tropes in making Riddler mentally ill.
But The Batman sucked. Really sucked. My friends and I were laughing throughout the movie, and not in a good way. I also found myself closing my eyes several times because I was tired and the movie was boring, and I never do that.
I would call this the worst Batman movie I've ever seen. I would definitely rank this below The Dark Knight Rises.
- Worst Batmobile chase scene ever. That scene was visually incomprehensible due to the combination of night and rain, and just felt like watching a bunch of moving headlights without a sense of high-speed driving. Also, the Batmobile basically looks like a vintage car with a rocket on the back, a.k.a. boring.
- Worst Batman introduction ever. Just Batman slowly and NOISILY WALKING toward a group of thugs? No suspense, no fear, so much cringe.
- Terrible cinematography. Director Matt Reeves has some obsession with Go-Pro cameras because that's ALL he uses whenever it comes to a car/motorcycle/gliding scene. And it looks awful, like...bro, you had $200 million dollars for this, a Go-Pro was the best you could do??? Plus, the color scheme for the entire film was basically black with eye-searing red lights. It looked awful.
- WHY DOES BRUCE WAYNE LOOK LIKE A HOBO ALL THE TIME??? I burst out laughing every time I saw him with the raccoon eyes and hobo hair; I could NOT take him seriously at all. Basically, there is no Bruce Wayne in this movie, no playboy billionaire who disguises his vigilante life with a ditzy rich airhead cover.
- No emotions for Bruce's relationships with his family. He barely spoke to Alfred so it was impossible to feel sad when Alfred got blown up. And it was never stated that Bruce was fighting crime in his father's memory until he started thinking his father was a scumbag, so any emotions that should have been there fell completely flat.
- Horrible detective work. This is supposed to be a detective noir film, but Bruce's only skillset is just immediately knowing the answer to all of Riddler's verbal riddles. That's not interesting to watch! And it doesn't make the film seem smart!!
- Zero chemistry between Batman and Catwoman. I cringed at all of their scenes. And why the F was Bruce spying on her in her underwear in the beginning of the movie? Like holy hell, you couldn't modernize noir femme fatale tropes a little???
- Trash-bag Riddler looked terrible. I mean, I thought this even before the movie came out, but seeing it in motion made it even worse. Also, did not like the ableist tropes in making Riddler mentally ill.
