Writing update
Nov. 22nd, 2022 02:43 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rainwatersparkWhat have I been up to lately? Well, I'm working on what is, hopefully, the last round of edits for Novel #4, which I'm aiming to complete by the end of Thanksgiving weekend and turn in to my agent so I can see what our submission strategy is for next January.
I've recently realized that, while I'm generally an underwriter, I sometimes overwrite character motivations/internal monologue. It's because the process of drafting is, for me, a process of thinking; I'm literally thinking out loud to myself as I draft why characters are acting the way they are. But sometimes, those explanations are overly long and unnecessary, and it takes me a while to be in the mindset to be able to cut them.
I'm also haunted by the fact that, when I do get negative reviews for my writing, they tend to dislike how much "telling" I do, even though I've seen plenty of books that have far more telling than I do. But that criticism has gotten stuck in my head and haunts me every time I take another look at my manuscript.
Outside of my book, I've been meaning to write another book review round-up post (including a review for Bloodmarked and DNF explanations for Dark Matter, Recursion, and Strike the Zither).
I think I mentioned this previously, but I plan on taking a break from writing once Novel #4 is finalized for submission. I'm just starting to feel like I've devoted years of my life to this fickle dream that relies mostly on luck and appealing to (allocishet, white, abled) publishing gatekeepers to get a book deal, and that doesn't even pay a living wage unless you become a bestseller, and it's killing my desire to write anything else, especially another "commercial" book.
Case in point: I thought of a way recently to rewrite Novel #1 to make it more "commercial" and possibly breathe new life into it for a shot at a traditional book deal, but I'm not sure if I really want to pursue it. In this case, making it "commercial" would also remove the aspect of it that was written to address and encapsulate my experiences with depression at the time. And, to be honest, I'm a different person now than I was when I wrote that book; there's a very real possibility that the core of the story would no longer resonate with me.
In general, though, this whole idea of "I have to write something hooky/commercial in order to get a traditional publishing deal" has been screwing with my relationship with writing. On top of my previous submission disappointments, this is yet another reason I'm having trouble throwing myself into new projects. Even when I tell myself "I'm going to write something fun, not geared toward traditional publishing, something that would possibly fit in the indie space, just to remember what it's like to love writing," I find myself unable to pursue it. it's hard to feel motivated to write books for an indie/self-publishing audience when my first two indie novels flopped (one badly, one less badly) and got negative reviews such as "this is the worst writer ever." (Hell, I always wanted my second novel to be the first in a duology, but the sales didn't support the time it would take for me to write a sequel.)
What I'm most excited/motivated to work on at this moment would be a series of murder mysteries that would be sequels to Novel #4. But I can't count on doing any of that unless/until Novel #4 sells. Most of the books I'm looking forward to next year are either mysteries, thrillers, or horror, which probably speaks to my current interests; there are some fantasy books that are mostly there because they're non-Western fantasy, the odd sci-fi, and the rare romance novel.
So...yeah, that's where I'm at right now.
I've recently realized that, while I'm generally an underwriter, I sometimes overwrite character motivations/internal monologue. It's because the process of drafting is, for me, a process of thinking; I'm literally thinking out loud to myself as I draft why characters are acting the way they are. But sometimes, those explanations are overly long and unnecessary, and it takes me a while to be in the mindset to be able to cut them.
I'm also haunted by the fact that, when I do get negative reviews for my writing, they tend to dislike how much "telling" I do, even though I've seen plenty of books that have far more telling than I do. But that criticism has gotten stuck in my head and haunts me every time I take another look at my manuscript.
Outside of my book, I've been meaning to write another book review round-up post (including a review for Bloodmarked and DNF explanations for Dark Matter, Recursion, and Strike the Zither).
I think I mentioned this previously, but I plan on taking a break from writing once Novel #4 is finalized for submission. I'm just starting to feel like I've devoted years of my life to this fickle dream that relies mostly on luck and appealing to (allocishet, white, abled) publishing gatekeepers to get a book deal, and that doesn't even pay a living wage unless you become a bestseller, and it's killing my desire to write anything else, especially another "commercial" book.
Case in point: I thought of a way recently to rewrite Novel #1 to make it more "commercial" and possibly breathe new life into it for a shot at a traditional book deal, but I'm not sure if I really want to pursue it. In this case, making it "commercial" would also remove the aspect of it that was written to address and encapsulate my experiences with depression at the time. And, to be honest, I'm a different person now than I was when I wrote that book; there's a very real possibility that the core of the story would no longer resonate with me.
In general, though, this whole idea of "I have to write something hooky/commercial in order to get a traditional publishing deal" has been screwing with my relationship with writing. On top of my previous submission disappointments, this is yet another reason I'm having trouble throwing myself into new projects. Even when I tell myself "I'm going to write something fun, not geared toward traditional publishing, something that would possibly fit in the indie space, just to remember what it's like to love writing," I find myself unable to pursue it. it's hard to feel motivated to write books for an indie/self-publishing audience when my first two indie novels flopped (one badly, one less badly) and got negative reviews such as "this is the worst writer ever." (Hell, I always wanted my second novel to be the first in a duology, but the sales didn't support the time it would take for me to write a sequel.)
(I can't write fast enough to justify an indie/self-publishing career in general.)
And yet, I'm also unable to pursue other "commercial" ideas because they feel emotionally dead to me, so my brain is like "what's the point in working on this?"What I'm most excited/motivated to work on at this moment would be a series of murder mysteries that would be sequels to Novel #4. But I can't count on doing any of that unless/until Novel #4 sells. Most of the books I'm looking forward to next year are either mysteries, thrillers, or horror, which probably speaks to my current interests; there are some fantasy books that are mostly there because they're non-Western fantasy, the odd sci-fi, and the rare romance novel.
So...yeah, that's where I'm at right now.
