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rainwatersparkWhile there are many people who are honest about the difficulties of querying and trying to get an agent, far fewer people are open about the next step after that: going on submission and trying to sell your book to publishers. There is a deep fear that speaking honestly about publishers will lead to authors getting blacklisted, since so much of this opaque, cloak-and-dagger industry revolves around personal relationships and the fact that the supply of authors' and aspiring authors' manuscripts will always outstrip demand.
Well, this is an anonymous blog, so screw it. I'm going to be honest.
I'm very, very tired of traditional publishing.
I know being bitter isn't productive, but I can't help being bitter after the experiences I've had and the stress I've been experiencing every day since going on submission with my second book (the second book with my agent, not the second book I've ever written). Authors who have gotten agents and book deals quickly have skewed views of the industry. I struggled to get an agent, I watched my first book die on submission, and I now understand why the industry is so brutal that there are so many voiceless, unknown, marginalized authors who must have given up before me.
My first book didn't die because it "wasn't good enough." It was a goddamned Jane Austen retelling. Its central message was that having depression doesn't make you less worthy of love. It starred queer characters of color.
Guess what? Nobody wanted it.
If I ever encounter one of those white, allocishet, abled dudebros who whine about how no one wants their books anymore because publishing only wants marginalized authors, I may scream. It's not true. It's absolutely not true. The representation of queerness, the Chinese American experience, and depression in my book meant absolutely jack shit to traditional publishing.
Now I'm on submission with another book, also about queer Asians, and I'm terrified of it also dying on sub.
Here's the thing. I've spent over a decade honing my writing skills. While I do look back at my indie-published books with some regret (partially because I didn't have much developmental editing from the indie publisher—though Novel #2 held up relatively well when I reread it a year or two ago apart from the weak mystery plot), I am damn proud of the last two books I've written. My latest book (Novel #4) is my most ambitious, commercial project to date.
I am damn proud of the way I build characters, the way I weave tension into my stories by withholding information, the way I often use dialogue to convey information and thereby avoid infodumps.
I am absolutely certain that the premise of my book is high concept and a compelling hook.
And it just kills me to think that none of this means anything to editors who reject books due to subjective preferences. There is never any acknowledgement of the things I do well. It's always just "for [X very specific reason], I'm going to have to pass."
It is so, so tiring to realize that writing is the one career in which the reward is never proportional to the time and energy you invest in it. If I work harder at my day job, I'd get promoted and a raise in salary. If I write another book, I'll just be playing traditional publishing's lottery again.
And sure, I have another round of editors my agent can submit my book to if this round falls flat, but the second round will be mostly smaller publishers. And I'd really, really hoped I could turn my book into a 4- or 5-book series, which ideally would happen with the support of a bigger publisher. If I had just wanted to publish a standalone, I'd be all for a smaller publisher just to get my name out there, but for a series? Getting a $5k per book advance wouldn't be sustainable to write that many books.
This book was the most commercial idea I've ever had. If this falls flat, I don't know what traditional publishing wants anymore.
I don't know. I'm just tired.
Well, this is an anonymous blog, so screw it. I'm going to be honest.
I'm very, very tired of traditional publishing.
I know being bitter isn't productive, but I can't help being bitter after the experiences I've had and the stress I've been experiencing every day since going on submission with my second book (the second book with my agent, not the second book I've ever written). Authors who have gotten agents and book deals quickly have skewed views of the industry. I struggled to get an agent, I watched my first book die on submission, and I now understand why the industry is so brutal that there are so many voiceless, unknown, marginalized authors who must have given up before me.
My first book didn't die because it "wasn't good enough." It was a goddamned Jane Austen retelling. Its central message was that having depression doesn't make you less worthy of love. It starred queer characters of color.
Guess what? Nobody wanted it.
If I ever encounter one of those white, allocishet, abled dudebros who whine about how no one wants their books anymore because publishing only wants marginalized authors, I may scream. It's not true. It's absolutely not true. The representation of queerness, the Chinese American experience, and depression in my book meant absolutely jack shit to traditional publishing.
Now I'm on submission with another book, also about queer Asians, and I'm terrified of it also dying on sub.
Here's the thing. I've spent over a decade honing my writing skills. While I do look back at my indie-published books with some regret (partially because I didn't have much developmental editing from the indie publisher—though Novel #2 held up relatively well when I reread it a year or two ago apart from the weak mystery plot), I am damn proud of the last two books I've written. My latest book (Novel #4) is my most ambitious, commercial project to date.
I am damn proud of the way I build characters, the way I weave tension into my stories by withholding information, the way I often use dialogue to convey information and thereby avoid infodumps.
I am absolutely certain that the premise of my book is high concept and a compelling hook.
And it just kills me to think that none of this means anything to editors who reject books due to subjective preferences. There is never any acknowledgement of the things I do well. It's always just "for [X very specific reason], I'm going to have to pass."
It is so, so tiring to realize that writing is the one career in which the reward is never proportional to the time and energy you invest in it. If I work harder at my day job, I'd get promoted and a raise in salary. If I write another book, I'll just be playing traditional publishing's lottery again.
And sure, I have another round of editors my agent can submit my book to if this round falls flat, but the second round will be mostly smaller publishers. And I'd really, really hoped I could turn my book into a 4- or 5-book series, which ideally would happen with the support of a bigger publisher. If I had just wanted to publish a standalone, I'd be all for a smaller publisher just to get my name out there, but for a series? Getting a $5k per book advance wouldn't be sustainable to write that many books.
This book was the most commercial idea I've ever had. If this falls flat, I don't know what traditional publishing wants anymore.
I don't know. I'm just tired.
