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rainwatersparkI've officially quit Tumblr.
I have several reasons for my decision: losing the feeling of community and support that I used to have a bit of when one of my best friends frequented Tumblr, having anxiety whenever I got into an emotionally-charged argument, having anxiety at the thought of getting into an emotionally-charged argument, and being unable to reconcile that anxiety with my own strong opinions.
Recently, I've just felt like that anxiety was getting so overwhelming that it was preventing me from being truly honest and open about what I thought on Tumblr. I would start to self-censor whenever I thought about writing a post, anxiety about getting into potential arguments would make my fingers freeze on the keyboard, and I wouldn't be able to write anything.
That's not a healthy reaction.
So I decided to quit.
Time and time again, I've wrestled with the question of how to be critical. I am, by nature, a critical person. Mostly, I'd say it's because I care a lot about fiction and I'm constantly pushing for higher standards and better stories. Also, the standards I hold published fiction to are the very same standards I hold my own writing to. Art only improves through critique and self-reflection.
And yet the kind of backlash people experience for being critical is overwhelming. Critical reviewers are accused of being elitist and thinking other people are stupid, being jerks and "haters" who want to ruin what other people like, being overly sensitive, having standards that are way too high, being unreasonable, and so on.
Honestly? That kind of reaction hurts. It hurts because criticism often comes from a place of love, or at least hope. Hope that a story can be the best it can be; love for a genre and its potential; hope that writers can improve and tell even better stories. I don't make critical comments because I think other people are stupid and I'm somehow "smarter" than them; I make them because I hope to have a dialogue about how trends can be problematic and we should think critically about the kinds of stories we consume and what messages they contain, implicit or not.
And it's hard when the counter-argument is "people should be able to like what they like and not see any negativity about it." I wouldn't wish to argue with someone who attaches a good deal of personal significance to a work of fiction, for whatever reason. But at the same time that attitude can come off as "I don't want to hear your critical opinion," or "you can have your opinion but keep it to yourself." In other words, censoring and silencing criticism.
I can't write if I'm constantly afraid that people will tell me to shut up if they don't like what I've written. It doesn't matter if it's fiction writing or an opinion piece; all writing comes from the same place.
So I've quit Tumblr. I'm still wrestling with my painful writer's block, plus residual depression from the past academic year, and I don't have any answers yet. But I hope to find them.
I have several reasons for my decision: losing the feeling of community and support that I used to have a bit of when one of my best friends frequented Tumblr, having anxiety whenever I got into an emotionally-charged argument, having anxiety at the thought of getting into an emotionally-charged argument, and being unable to reconcile that anxiety with my own strong opinions.
Recently, I've just felt like that anxiety was getting so overwhelming that it was preventing me from being truly honest and open about what I thought on Tumblr. I would start to self-censor whenever I thought about writing a post, anxiety about getting into potential arguments would make my fingers freeze on the keyboard, and I wouldn't be able to write anything.
That's not a healthy reaction.
So I decided to quit.
Time and time again, I've wrestled with the question of how to be critical. I am, by nature, a critical person. Mostly, I'd say it's because I care a lot about fiction and I'm constantly pushing for higher standards and better stories. Also, the standards I hold published fiction to are the very same standards I hold my own writing to. Art only improves through critique and self-reflection.
And yet the kind of backlash people experience for being critical is overwhelming. Critical reviewers are accused of being elitist and thinking other people are stupid, being jerks and "haters" who want to ruin what other people like, being overly sensitive, having standards that are way too high, being unreasonable, and so on.
Honestly? That kind of reaction hurts. It hurts because criticism often comes from a place of love, or at least hope. Hope that a story can be the best it can be; love for a genre and its potential; hope that writers can improve and tell even better stories. I don't make critical comments because I think other people are stupid and I'm somehow "smarter" than them; I make them because I hope to have a dialogue about how trends can be problematic and we should think critically about the kinds of stories we consume and what messages they contain, implicit or not.
And it's hard when the counter-argument is "people should be able to like what they like and not see any negativity about it." I wouldn't wish to argue with someone who attaches a good deal of personal significance to a work of fiction, for whatever reason. But at the same time that attitude can come off as "I don't want to hear your critical opinion," or "you can have your opinion but keep it to yourself." In other words, censoring and silencing criticism.
I can't write if I'm constantly afraid that people will tell me to shut up if they don't like what I've written. It doesn't matter if it's fiction writing or an opinion piece; all writing comes from the same place.
So I've quit Tumblr. I'm still wrestling with my painful writer's block, plus residual depression from the past academic year, and I don't have any answers yet. But I hope to find them.
